Lisa Seldon
Lisa Alexandria Lee, known professionally as Lisa Seldon, formerly as Lisa Lorenzo and sometimes (but not actually) as Lizatanna, is a British/American professional wrestler, currently working for the Pioneer Wrestling Association while running her own company, Victory Wrestling. Biography Born on the 28th of July, 1986 to a single mother and an absantee father, Lisa had a fairly ordinary, if not boring upbringing that would eventually drive her toward a career in professional face breaking. Chasing a dream, and a story that had her father marked as some crabby old manager, Lisa Seldon headed across the sea to seek fame and fortune in the career which had apparently left her the child of an international ring rat. Which is a terrible career choice to be perfectly honest, but she wasn't much good at anything else anyway. Of course, having arrived with the intention of being the bestest wrestler ever, Lisa found herself initially held back by not actually knowing how to do anything. Luckily, when you need them, a hot, lesbian wrestler will always be there to show you the ropes. Lucky bitch. Professional Wrestling Career Lisa Lorenzo made her professional debut in July 2003 for a company known as High Impact Competition, one of the two companies to survive the fall of the Alliance of Wrestling Federations. There she made a handful of friends, a shitton of enemies and met her future husand, Jacob Seldon, allowing her to cast off her terrible ring name and adopt the name Seldon, which she would hang on to for the rest of her career (even after her inevitable divorce, because that's wrestling for you). The HiC would eventually die and Lisa went off to splash around in a number of lesser promotions before eventually landing in the Epic Wrestling Organization. Originally brought in to be part of the companies tag team Grand Prix, Lisa teamed with a fellow Cathouse trainee Sam Haines and went to the final, only to crash out first. The two would make up for it when Lisa and Sam went on to capture the eWo Tag Titles on March 16, 2009. Which was nice, if not quite as good as winning the Grand Prix as well. Nevertheless, the two snatched the titles and held them for 56 days before leaving the company when everything kinda sorta went to shit. When the company closed up shop to reshuffle the owners, Lisa decided she didn't like the cards and cashed out. Lisa next signed to the Liberty Wrestling Federation another company that came through the fall of the AoWF. Lisa celebrated this signing by getting into a horrific car accident the day before her first match. Lisa was said to be seriously injured, but that turned out to puffed up bullshit when she returned just weeks later to win the companies world championship. Lisa would hold the company for the rest of the companies existence and then apparently forever, when their entire last event was overturned in an unrelated lawsuit that Lisa took advantage of for money. Following the demise of Liberty Wrestling in 2007, Lisa went on to do fuck all of importance for about 3 years until she turned up in the Pioneer Wrestling Association as the new general manager. The wrestling bug would eventually bite her again though, and by early 2011 she was competing again, this time for Sin Wrestling. Lisa Seldon made a rather quick splash, winning the companies Ultraviolence Championship on February 14, 2011 from the seemingly (but apparently not literally) unstoppable Beau Brant and holding it for a span of 35 days before the company closed its doors. Unfortunately Lisa would not leave with the belt as, having defended it once already that night, didn't realise she had to appear in the main event. Meanwhile Lizatanna (who looked a lot like what Lisa would look like if she was a wizard) turned up in Rebel Pro, a sister company to the PWA and captured the companies Aggression Championship in just her second match on February 11, 2011. Everyone assumed it was just Lisa pulling some shit, but that was clearly impossible as she was clearly wrestling for Sin. Liza would hold the belt for just under two months before vacating the belt due to death, having died falling down an elevator shaft. Coincidentally, Lisa Seldon picked that exact week to make her debut in Rebel Pro and win the companies World Championship. Lisa would hold the belt for a record setting 345 days, which was a bit like taking the previous record of 112 days and ass fucking it into non-existence. During this run Lisa would also win perhaps the biggest prize of her career, capturing the AoWF's World Championship and earning the moniker The Queen of Everything (or everything at least in the AoWF). Lisa would hold the belt for eight months before dropping it to Teresa Quaranta, which was kind of a bastard to be perfectly honest. Nevertheless Lisa carried on, teaming up with Anna Mathews to form the super-duper duo of Dodo-A-Gogo, who would go on to capture the PWA tag team championships and the AoWF tag team championships. That's kind of where she is right now. The Owner of Things (wrestling companies mostly) After a three year absence from the AoWF, Lisa returned in 2010, not as a wrestler, but as a fancy-pants new General Manager for the PWA when the previous one kinda, sorta fucked off to who knows where. Many people thought she was the wrong choice and many (all of them) were right, as Lisa bumbled through shows, essentially doing whatever the fuck she liked, which usually involved indirectly fucking people into the ground. In her time she pushed Riona Langly, her world champion, into battling in a soup bowl match (literally what it sounds like) against a pornstar cum (lolpun) wrestle (who won) and changing rules in matches on a whim, leading to Lucious Starr getting his head caved in with a steel pipe. Which was fine because he was a twat anyway. Perhaps the worst thing she ever did though was go on holiday for three weeks, allowing the Order of Chaos to usurp power when Chamelion, the actual proper and original owner, decided it would be a perfectly good idea to put the ownership of the company up in a match. What was especially stupid about this decision was that it wasn't actually clear what Chamelion was getting out of the deal, other than a massive asskicking and a strong feeling of stupidity. Lisa would return and find herself embroiled in a long and... long battle between the OoC and the Apostles of Ares, the awfully named team who popped up whenever evil needed dealing with. A bit like the Avengers, if the Avengers were massively fucking wank. Lisa stayed quiet for most of the war, but made waves when she drove Jethro Hayes, the golden boy of the PWA, to break Chamelion's legs with a sledgehammer, which was quite fitting when you consider that he was the guy who originally gave him a job. The result was a situation where Chamelion and Lisa could no longer work together in the same company, leading to the two of them parting ways. Lisa took half the roster and opened up a company of her own, essentially just two doors down. Victory Wrestling then would be Lisa's first proper fed running job, allowing her far more freedom than she'd be afforded in the PWA. The results were not always nice, as she's a bit of an arse, but they were indeed interesting to watch, in the same way that it's interesting to watch a train rip through a cow that's walked onto the tracks. Just as messy too. The Essentials Name: Lisa Seldon Nicknames: Drama Queen, Bright Eyes, Skittles, The Queen of Everything, The Queen of the Sea Height: '''5'6" '''Weight: 125 lbs Alignment: Face Entrance Music: "Fear of Dying" by Jack Off Jill / "Change (In The House Of Flies)" by The Deftones Appearance: Mostly dresses in jeans and t-shirts because she has no sense of flair, dyes her hair back and forth with alarming regularity and wears studded wrists bands and various bangles because she wishes she was still 16. Covers herself in tattoos and a handful of piercings for good measure. Personality Overview: '''While seemingly much more well adjusted than when she first broke into the AoWF community, Lisa is just as neurotic and delightfully batty as ever. Albeit just in a slightly different way than before. Despite doing her best to come across as carefree and whimsical, with a dash of maturity thrown in, Lisa has various negative traits that often hold this back. For a start she has a tendency to over think things; most often taking minor tiffs with others and blowing them up in her mind until they became great and unthinkable social faux pas. Add this to an inability to hold her tongue and you can tell this quickly becomes very inconvenient for her. She also has lots of little twitches, habits and anxiety issues that make her come across in person like she’s always just a little bit nervous. She has a habit of holding her hand in her hair, feels an uncontrollable urge to cover her mouth when people attempt to take pictures of her and has a slight lisp that only began to surface when her life became very much about public speaking. Of course, very rarely does any of this ever tip over the surface, and a long-standing habit of personal psychoanalysis helps her keep all these little habits in check, meaning only those close to her ever really pick any of these nuances up. This allows her to continue to portray an image of a rather chirpy and infectious woman who doesn’t care about anything… while secretly brooding over everything. '''Wrestling Style: Muay-Thai / Highflying / Lucha / Hardcore Lisa is very adept at jumping off of things into people with only minimum injury and hitting them with or against heavy/sharp/explosive things. Her real passion though is in kicking and kneeing people to death. In terms of a ground game, she has very little to speak of, preferring to stay on her feet or in the air as much as possible. If an opponent is on the ground, rather than trying to tap them out, she's probably trying to stamp on their face. That said, she has perfected a wild and wacky collection of pins and roll-ups, allowing her to end fights quick if need be. The Arsenal Trademark Moves *'The Echo Effect:' No-Hand Lionsault. *'Broken Design:' Spike Hurricanrana. *'Bleeding Vanity:' Inverted Hiptoss to Sit-Out Facebuster. *'California Screaming:' Bridging Japanese Stranglehold. *'Leggo My Leggos:' Figure Four Kneebar/Double Chicken-Wing. *'The Tequila Slammer:' Fishhook Implant DDT. *'The Tequila Slammer II:' A Leg-Cradle Michinoku Driver. *'The Tequila Slammer IIβ:' Fireman’s Carry to Leg Cradle Michinoku Driver. *'The Tequila Slammer III:' A Sitout Pump-Handle Fireman’s Carry Driver. *'The Tequila Slammer IV:' Olympic Slam style lift into a Side Michinoku Driver. *'The Horror Pop:' Top-Rope High-Jump Double Kneedrop. Signature Moves *'The Killer:' Execution style Roundhouse Kick to a kneeling opponent. *'The Death:' A Leaping Spinning Heel Kick to the back of an opponent’s head. *'The PoP:' Springboard Corkscrew Missile Dropkick. *'The Starburst:' Front-Flip Double Corkscrew Senton Bomb. *'The Viledriver:' A Top-Rope Mounted Back-Roll Kudome Valentine. The Ridiculous List of Pins *'Reverse Cowgirl:' From behind her opponent, Lisa kicks her legs up and brings them in under her opponents arms as she flips over onto her front in order to pull her opponent down over her and roll them onto their shoulders. Lisa then stacks them up on their shoulders and sits down on top of them, pinning both their legs and arms to the mat. *'Repression Obsession:' From a running start, Lisa dives toward her opponent, twists herself horizontal to them and locks both legs around their waist. Lisa then spins forward to pull her opponent down onto their back. This leaves Lisa in place with one of her legs across their stomach, the other behind her opponents legs and Lisa on her side. Lisa then continues to roll over onto her front, folding her opponents legs over on top of them as she pushes up on her hands to add leverage to the pin. *'Strappado Bondage:' Coming in from behind her opponent, Lisa catches their near arm in a half-nelson while using her other to force her opponent forward and to the mat. As they then roll forward onto their shoulders, Lisa follows them down onto her front and catches their near leg with both of her own, crossing her legs around theirs and holding them down for the cover. *'Anxiety Attack:' Catching her opponent’s left arm in a Hammerlock with her right, Lisa moves around to their right hand side, throws their near arm over her neck and rolls her opponent forwards onto their shoulders. She then kneels down on their right arm, hooks their near leg and arches back for added force. *'Lotus Tie:' Lisa starts off by grabbing both her opponent’s wrists and turning away from them in order to cross their arms over in front of her. Lisa then drops to a sitout on the mat and uses the momentum to pull her opponent over her and down to the ground. Instead of flipping them over onto their back however, Lisa allows them to roll as far as their shoulders before she kicks her legs up and uses them to hold down her opponents, still keeping their wrists clutched as she holds them in place for the pin. *'Mouse Trap:' Lisa starts off with her opponent flat on their back as she lifts their legs up in front of her. Lisa then flips forward onto her opponent, bring their legs under her armpits as she kneels down on her opponents arms, holds their legs tight and leans forward into the hold. *'St. Andrew’s Cross:' Against a standing opponent, Lisa comes back to back with her opponent, hooks their left arm with hers, leans forward, catches both their legs and pulls them onto her back and across her shoulder. Lisa then throws herself backwards and slams her opponent face down to the mat. Releasing the legs but still keeping their arm locked, Lisa wraps her own legs around their free arm and then rolls over onto her front, pulling her opponent with her and leaving them laying across her back with their shoulders held down in a Crucifix Pin. If possible, she may also grab a hold of their near leg with her free arm in order to help stop her opponent kicking out. *'Oyster Shell:' Similar to a School Boy Roll-Up, Lisa rushes in from behind her opponent, drops to the mat, reaches through her opponent’s legs and pulls them down to the mat. Where as one would usually press down for the pin however, Lisa keeps going onto her back and clasps her hands around their leg in order to add more leverage to the pin. *'G-String Tie:' Starts off as a traditional Sunset Flip, except instead of holding their arms with her legs, Lisa wraps her arms around their waist with their arms locked in for good measure and then kicks her legs over theirs to pin them down. Spreading their legs wide for the most demeaning position possible is preferred. *'Hovering Butterfly:' Possibly her simplest technique. With her opponent down on their back, Lisa grabs their legs and folds them over her opponent as she kneels down on top of them, forcing their arms to the mat beneath her shins as she leans forward, using all her weight to hold her opponent down. Despite it’s simple nature, this move creates an inescapable situation for her opponent and tends to garner a win when she throws it on. Not only that but having an opponent sit on your face is particularly disheartening, especially when there’s no way out. Naturally, this is her favourite pinning technique. Title History *CCW Tag Team Champion (w/Jamie Havoc) *High Impact Competition Orange Drink Champion *High Impact Competition Tn’T Champion (twice) *High Impact Competition World Champion (twice) *Unified Wrestling Alliance Tag Team Champion (twice w/Calista Miller) *Liberty Wrestling Federation World Champion *Pioneer Wrestling Association World Tag Team Champion (twice w/Dahlia Starr & Anna Mathews) *Epic Wrestling Organisation World Tag Team Champion (w/Sam Haines) *Sin Wrestling Ultraviolence Champion *Rebel Pro Aggression Champion *Rebel Pro World Champion *The Alliance of Wrestling Federations World Champion *Rebel Pro Tag Team Champion (w/Emily Corlen) *The Alliance of Wrestling Federations World Tag-Team Champion (w/Anna Mathews) *The Alliance of Wrestling Federations Wrestler of the Year (2011) *The Alliance of Wrestling Federations Life Time Achievement Award Winner (at 25 her life is over) *Rebel Pro Grandslam Champion (all belts Lisa Seldons) *Sin Wrestling's 6th Best Wrestler Of The Year (2011) Fun Facts! Category:Biography Category:Female Wrestlers